Gone
by tee885
Summary: Sookie does a 'Buffy Summer's and runs away from Bon Temps after 'Dead Reckoning'. Can Sookie truly get away from her past or will it just keep following her wherever she goes?
1. You take care now

I don't hear from Eric. I don't hear from anybody. I can't tell if I want him to come running to me or not.

I look in the mirror at my reflection and see the scar on my neck, I trace my fingers over it thinking of Eric.

Sadness, hurt, anger.

I want to yell and scream but I don't, my baby blues stare back at me expectantly. Waiting for an answer I don't have.

I feel old and tired.

I'm not the girl I used to be.

I have loved and lost - _Bill. Eric. Quinn. _Sadness envelopes my heart now as I think about them, as I think about me and how I have changed.

I want sunshine and laughter, kisses and sex.

I want to grow old and watch my grand children run around the yard just like my Gran did.

I want Jason to settle down and have his own children, him and his wife coming around for weekly dinners. Jason putting his arm around her shoulders lovingly, she touching her pregnant stomach.

I want someone's arm to go around my shoulders too, I want to feel their warmth and lie back in their arms closing my eyes.

I want to smile and laugh with Sam as we work side by side at the bar. His red hair loose and wild around his head as we clink our after work beers together.

I want peace and quiet.

Just a simple life. That's all I ask for.

I look at the scar again on my neck and reality rears its ugly head, reminding me that wishes don't come true.

I go back into my bedroom and zip up my suitcase, I close the windows and head downstairs. Everything is quiet. I take one last long look around the house, so many things have happened here - _Gran, Amelia, Octavia, Eric, Bill, Jason, Tara, Sam. _But I know it is time to move on. I leave letters in the lounge on the table for Claude and Dermot, I know that they will be able to find me but I also know that they will keep my secret. I just need time and space. Figure things out, have adventures that don't involve the supernatural world. Be normal. Eric won't understand that, none of them will. But this is what I want and for the first time in what seems like forever I feel like I am making a decision on my own. Without the threat of death and danger. Without something being forced upon me.

I close the front door and lock it, almost backing out at the last minute as for a split second I hear Gran's voice call out to me but I know it is just the wind and she is just a memory so I keep going.

The sun shines and it warms my skin, I close my eyes and breathe in the Bon Temps air, bracing myself for the journey. I have to leave now before dark, before they figure it out and before they come looking for me.

I get in my rented car - _under the name Mia Williams of course - _and look at myself in the rear view mirror. My baby blues are still there but my long blond hair that has had so many men in a spin is gone, the cut is shoulder length, the colour brunette. I have wispy bangs even. Even though it is only hair I look like a completely different person, this makes me happy. Mia Williams is a happy person I have decided. I put the key in the ignition and start the car, driving away, forcing myself to not look in the rearview mirror. Just in case.

The further away I get the more relief I feel.

"Goodbye Sookie Stackhouse" I say out loud, "It sure was nice seeing ya. You take care now."

And then she is gone and in her place is Mia Williams, a shy 28 year old brunette. Her father was in the army so she moved around a lot as a child and never really had a place to call home, she still feels this restlessness in adult life too so does not stay in one place too long. Always on the move. She is friendly and polite - from her mother - and protective and loyal - from her father. An only child. She has no 'special' ability, just a sweet smile and a pretty face.

I smile satisfied. I have a long journey to work more on 'my' story.

I am amazed that I have been able to do all of this without anyone knowing, new id's, new records, new bank accounts and even a new accent. I have not left a paper trail. I used humans instead of supes. I looked outside of Bon Temps for help. I am actually surprised at my own abilities to do this. I feel proud. I feel excited. A new life. A new start. I ignore the little voice inside of me who is telling me that this whole thing is selfish and to think of the position that Eric is in now that Victor is dead. I feel guilt slipping its way inside my belly.

I turn up the radio louder to drown out that little voice and soon I can't hear it anymore.


	2. Big girls don't cry

_Since I am a fool and forgot to mention this in the last chapter – this takes place after Dead Reckoning but it is pretty much AU with some references to TB and SVM. Thanks for the feedback!_

"Hey Mia, bring your pretty self over here with another pitcher of beer!"

I sigh and roll my eyes. I moved miles and miles away to just be treated exactly the same as I did in my former life. I really have to get a new job.

As I walk over and hand him his beer his hand reaches out and like many others before him he tries to pinch my ass but I move too quickly for his drunken state and his sweaty hands narrowly miss me. He opens his mouth to complain but a large hand comes down upon his shoulder and his mouth snaps shut. I look up at my savior…Oliver. The current star of my many fantasies and my manager. I smile at him and mouth thank you quickly turning before he can notice my pink cheeks. Oy. Oliver was big and handsome and he had this way of turning my insides into complete mush by just looking at me. We had flirted and come close to kissing a few times and oh boy did I want him, I mean it had been six months with no loving and I was getting a wee bit frustrated to say the least. But memories of Eric were everywhere I looked and still embedded in every part of my mind. I couldn't just jump into bed with the next available guy…right?

I sigh again and look out the window of the diner, watching the people go by. It's July, lots of warm nights and hot days. I have been here in St Louis for about a month now, probably the longest I have stayed anywhere since I left. It will be time to leave here soon too though. I guess I never thought I could really do this, my home and my family were everything to me but now even six months later sometimes I forget who I was before. Sometimes Mia and the whole lie I have made up feel real. But when I sleep, I dream and it is always of them. Nothing will change that.

Do they hate me? Are they looking for me? Eric….my heart still races when I think about him. He could be so cold and so calculating but then just as I thought I knew him completely he would surprise me and be the sweetest man…vampire I had ever met. He made me feel so alive and so special. And his body…oh, his body. Eric. Eric. Eric. It always comes back to him. It always will.

"Mia?" Oliver's low voice breaks through my thoughts. I jump a little.

"Sorry! Just zoned out for a while there."

He shrugs and as I look around I realize that we are the only people left and it's closing time. How long was I daydreaming for? As if sensing my sadness he leans in and touches his rough hand to my face, his thumb rubbing over my cheek. His hand is so warm and the look in his eyes is so tender. Maybe I could love this man? I lean into his touch and block his thoughts out - have been practicing my skills whilst on the road and seem to be doing pretty good - I don't want to hear what he is thinking I just want him to keep touching me. He leans in a little closer, I can feel the warmth radiating off of him.

Any sense that I had a few minutes ago is quickly out the window when Oliver's mouth crashes into mine. It's all lips and tongue and panting breath and desperation. This is wrong.

I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I chant in my head as he takes my hand and leads me to his office. The lamp is on, casting a dim glow in the room. I stand away from him awkwardly. He touches my face again, sensing my hesitation. I look up into his dark brown eyes and it's all over. I move closer to him and he grabs me suddenly, pulling me in between his legs. We are kissing again, I hear a moan - was that me? - and my top is off and his mouth is all over me.

I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. My hands are shaky as I fumble with the buttons on his shirt like this is my first time. I grip the front of his jeans, he moans into my mouth bucking his hips. I want to forget. Everything. I want to just be in this moment and fuck the rest.

We are naked now, we move to behind his desk and he sits back on his chair. His fingers work their way inside me but I don't need them, I am already wet. I just want him to fill me completely until I don't know anything else. I close my eyes as I lower myself onto his cock, straddling him. He is warm inside of me, his big hands cup my ass, his mouth on my breasts. We move together, grunting and moaning wanting that inevitable release. I pull his head up to my mouth and we kiss, it's so frantic and I can't tell if the desperation is coming from me or him. I need to forget. I am Mia Williams now. Sweat beads on my upper lip. I keep riding him but slower this time, changing the pace to draw it out. I don't want this to end.

"I wanna fuck you over the desk." He grunts out.

We move around so I am bent over his desk and he is behind me. He enters me fast and I cry out, we are both so close. I can feel it. He fucks me hard, our bodies slapping and slipping and sliding. His hand reaches around to my front and his fingers find my clit. He rubs and a strangled noise escapes my throat. He increases the pace, I reach back and grip his ass. I want him in further, deeper, harder. Make me forget. I can feel it coming and I reach forward and grip the desk, I close my eyes and see the nothingness behind them as I come, shuddering and panting. He is close behind me, he grunts loudly and I feel the coolness seep inside me. He slowly moves out of me and pulls me to him, our bodies are slick with sweat and I slide against him. I breathe out and let my mind open to him.

His thoughts are sweet, beautiful even. He is happy, there is just something about me. He feels lucky to have met me. Now he is remembering the day that I first walked into the diner. So genuine and honest and here I am pretending to be something I'm not.

I feel awful.

I close off my mind to his and feel tears prick my eyes. Fucking the memory of someone else away…probably not my best idea. Perhaps I am not as ready for all of this as I thought I was.

I move away and start to dress, I can sense Oliver's confusion. My hands are shaky and a hollowness threatens to envelop my insides.

"Mia? What…what's going on?"

"This was a mistake."

He looks at me searching my face for answers but I turn away and start to put on my shoes. I need to get out of here now before I do any more damage then I already have. He doesn't say anything in response just starts to gather his own clothes, his body language is stiff and guarded. What did I expect really? I grab my bag and stop momentarily at the door.

"Oliver, I'm sorry. There are just things that happened…before. And I….we shouldn't have done this."

His big brown eyes look at me, longingly. I want to say I can't save him, I want to say I am not the one. But I don't say anything at all, I turn and leave and walk out of the diner. All the while feeling hollow inside and wishing I hadn't chosen this whole path. Wishing I hadn't used him to try and get over Eric. That's not me. Or maybe it is. God, I don't even know anymore. All I know is I feel like shit. As I make my way back to the motel my skin feels itchy, the air suffocates me. I need to get out of here. I have out stayed my welcome in ole' St Louis.

After a hot shower I set myself the task of packing up my meager belongings to keep my mind off everything. This is what I wanted. Just keep on moving, don't make any connections. I open my wardrobe and start pulling clothes out, setting them on my bed. I reach in for the last item and my breath catches in my throat suddenly as my hand makes contact with it. Why I do these things to myself I don't know. I pull out the coat, it's still so beautiful and somehow still smells of him - maybe we made love whilst I wore this? - and of home. I put my arms through it and hug it around my body. My heart aches.

I curl up on my bed, wrapping the coat around me tighter and I cry. For everything. And then I sleep.

I leave St Louis and Oliver the next day. Just the end of another chapter in this journey. That's all it is to me.

Right?


	3. You better Run

_Thanks for the feedback : ) Also not to worry Sookie is not pregnant, was a slight slip on my part to not include she was safe! Oops. Also Eric's POV won't be happening for a few more chapters. Hope you all enjoy this new part!_

I left behind the beautiful cranberry coat in St Louis, it hurt to close the wardrobe door on it and just walk out but it needed to go and so I left it, the last reminder of my old life.

I had recently cut my hair again, short bob with a blunt fringe and dark brown. I was calling Detroit my home now, it had been about three months since I first came here and I really felt a connection to the place like I could make myself a little home here. I work a 9-5 temp job at an office in the city just down the road from my apartment. I go to work everyday, then home, eat, sleep and then repeat the next day. On the weekends I practice my telepathy - I even have a new trick now - in local bars, drinking rum and cokes (no more G&T's for me) and sometimes if I am in the mood I go home with strange men. Because of all of the traveling and the loneliness I had started to find some kind of company in alcohol and strangers. That night with Oliver back in St Louis taught me to keep contact with men at a minimum, never get to know them just get what I want and leave - no one gets hurt. Mostly I never even knew their names and mostly I just let them hold me.

I live alone in a small apartment, the walls are bare - no photos, no mementos, just the bare necessities incase I need to move on again. Occasionally I will converse with my neighbors but I try to keep that contact at a minimum too. I have no friends, I have no family.

A simple life.

Friday night has come around again and I am itching to go out to be around people, a little bit of dancing, a little bit of drinking is just what I need. I finish applying my make up and stare back at my reflection, my baby blues are blank and I have to look away quickly to ignore the emptiness that swells inside of them. I shake my head a little and smooth down my dress - a pretty sexy dark green, skin tight number, matched with boots and a silver necklace just in case - and call a cab grabbing my jacket and backpack as I make my way out of the apartment. I can feel the anticipation building inside of me, I have been waiting for this all week.

Barrio's is busy, there is a bit of a line but I really like the place so I don't mind the wait, the music is good and the drinks are cheap. I walk up to the bar and order a rum and coke checking out the crowd. I take a deep breath, close my eyes and open my mind. Everything floods in at once and my head pounds, I want to stop it but I let all of their thoughts and feelings keep coming and let them flow through me and soon enough it doesn't hurt anymore. I rifle through various thoughts, focusing in on one and letting go again. I close off my mind, satisfied with the little exercise and wipe the perspiration off my face. I order two more drinks and down them quickly, a nice buzz settling over me.

One of my favorite songs comes on and I move quickly towards the dance floor, squeezing my way through the crowd. I let go of everything and feel the music, swaying and moving my body to the beat. It feels good to be lost in this moment, I tilt my head back watching the overhead lights move and flash. Someone tries to come up and dance with me but I don't want that tonight so I turn away and soon I am alone again. I dance through another couple of songs before I squeeze my way back out of the crowd and down another two drinks. I feel numb and it feels good.

A deep voice cuts through my peace "My, my…aren't you just a picture.." His cold fingers slide up my arm and I jerk away frowning at him. It doesn't take much for me to realize this was the void that I noticed a while back on my mental scan. This isn't the first time I have encountered a supe since I left but it sure didn't make it any less annoying, especially when this one was particularly good looking - they were always the ones to watch out for the most, believe me I knew that. He had dark curly hair and the darkest brown eyes I had ever seen which were currently ogling my breasts. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him.

"Hey, now. Don't be like that."

He mock pouts at me and leans past me - sniffing slightly - ordering a true blood.

"You smell…delicious." He lingers close to me and I feel the pulse in my neck quicken, not just because of the danger he was to me but also of whom he might know. Something didn't feel right and I didn't want to stick around any longer to figure out why that was.

I keep trying to feign ignorance as he continues to study me, he cocks his head slightly and runs a finger down my cheek, leaning in and whispering in my ear.

"You remind me of someone."

And with that last comment he is gone, the woosh of air nearly knocking me over, my heart pounding painfully in my chest.

Fuck. Who was he?

A feeling of unease washes over me, something was definitely up. I pick up my backpack and walk to the bathroom calmly, keeping my mind open and acting like nothing was wrong. Two voids register outside at the front of the club, nothing out back and nothing inside. My hands are shaking as I lock the bathroom stall door, closing my mind off again I try to take deep breaths to calm myself down. A million questions are running through my mind, does the vampire know who i am? Could he be working for Eric? Felipe? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. What I **do **know is that I have to get the fuck out of here and fast.

I check one more time for the vampires - out the front still, waiting for me? - and thank whoever is watching out for me up above that there is a big enough window in this bathroom for me to fit through. I steady myself on the toilet, throwing my bag out first before climbing through particularly ungracefully, I land hard on the concrete below. I hiss in pain as my wrist takes most of the fall but there is no time to care about that at the moment so I pick myself up and edge around the side of the building. No voids register on my radar on this side, I take a deep breath and sprint across the road and jump into the nearest cab. The driver looks at my strangely but I shove money in his face and tell him to drive fast. My heart is hammering as I look out the back window checking back but nothing is there and no voids appear on my radar. I breathe out, tears pricking my eyes.

We near my apartment and I open my mind once again.

"Wait! Stop the cab. Just here."

He looks at me in the rearview mirror warily but does as I say, three voids are on my radar and I tense. I close my eyes and lean back on the seat letting everything go and open my mind fully. I trace with my mind where the voids are exactly in relation to where I am, as sweat starts to bead on my upper lip I strain harder and soon I am projected into my very own apartment where one of them is. I watch as he looks around, opening and closing draws. I hear a noise and I am outside looking at my apartment door, my landlord is here - obviously how they were 'invited' in - he looks dazed, probably glamoured. Next to him is another vampire, this one a woman. I do not recognize her.

I hear the taxi driver clear his throat.

"Ma'am, are you getting out or what? I don't have all goddamn night you know."

I am bought back into the cab and my body by the driver. I feel exhausted, this new talent takes a lot out of me.

"No. Keep driving."

I lie down in the back of the cab as he drives past my apartment, I hug my jacket around me and ignore the tears stinging my eyes. I do not know who they are but I am not willing to find out, time to get out of here. Thankfully they won't find anything in my apartment other than a few bills and food, I have no reminders left of my previous life and I keep all of my important id's and things on me.

The driver drops me at the bus depot and I buy a ticket for the next available bus out of here, not even really caring where it is to. I buy hair dye and a cheap tourist t-shirt from the booths, I am now going for a shade of dark red to match my new name 'Olivia Young'. I cut up my old id cards and throw them away, dye my hair in the restroom and change into a pair of denim shorts I had in my backpack and put on the two dollar t shirt. With my new name and i.d cards I head into the waiting area of the depot - my bus to who knows where arrives in 15 minutes. I test out my wrist and it twinges when I turn it to one side, I rub my eyes and will myself not to cry. I feel so old and so tired. A year and I still have to keep watching my back, carrying around a bag full of other names and other lives.

My heart feels heavy in my chest, in this moment I have never felt so alone. I wish Eric was here so much, my whole body aches for him to come and gather me up in his arms and make my worries disappear.

But he's not here. And I am alone.

A simple life?

Yeah right.


	4. Little Rabbit

**I was posting this on another site before but since moving it to here have been re-editing some of the chapters. This is just a short one to sort of set the scene for the next part of the story, thanks for the feedback : ) Just keep in mind that this is an angsty story, it's what I write. The vampires will be explained soon-ish…**

Eric runs his hand down my arm, goosebumps appear where he has touched.

He leans down, near my ear and flicks his tongue out.

I moan and wrap my arms around his neck, drawing him closer.

He smiles and his fangs are out, I feel an ache inside deep down.

He knows I want this but he teases, only grazing the skin of my neck.

I giggle as it tickles and playfully swat at him.

Again he leans down to my ear and whispers in my ear.

"Where are you hiding little rabbit?"

I pull his head up and look at him confused. I don't understand what he is talking about.

"Why would you leave?" He asks.

His eyes have a hardness to them and suddenly his grip on my wrists isn't playful anymore, it's hard and it hurts.

"Answer me."

I can't. I don't know what he is talking about. He looks angry. I am scared.

He leans down at the curve in my neck and bites hard.

I open my mouth and scream.

"Liv! Liv! Wake up! You're scaring me!"

I hear a panicked voice.

My eyes fly open wide and Sarah's worried face is hovering above mine, my throat feels raw from screaming. She bites her lip as her thoughts come rushing out at me - _why is she screaming again? What happened to her? I'm scared - _I quickly block them and take heavy breaths to calm down. She relaxes her hold on me and turns to sit on the bed. I sit up after my breathing is calm. Another dream, I thought they would have stopped by now.

"Oliva. What…-Look I know we haven't known each other that long but this isn't the first time this has happened." She looks over at me and I feel bad.

I should have chosen to live alone. I get it, she is worried and scared - not just for me but for herself. She pushes her dark red hair behind one ear and faces me, taking my hands in hers looking at me expectantly.

"I'm really sorry Sarah, there are just some things that happened and…look I know it may not seem like it but I really am trying to work through it all. Please don't worry, I am fine. I really am." I squeeze her hand and smile reassuringly in the hopes that she will drop the conversation. She is not completely convinced but nods her head and leaves me alone.

I get out of the bed and walk towards the window, almost on instinct I probe the empty spot where the bond used to sit inside of me, it is no longer there of course - _thanks amelia - _but I feel for it anyway. In this moment I want it all back just so I can have him come to my window, hold me in his arms and whisper promises of beautiful things. It amazes me how he still has such a presence in my dreams and thoughts…even now, it has been two and a half years since I last saw him but he is still there in the back of my mind taunting me with the memories of us and who I used to be.

I look out the window and even though it is 2am, the streets are still bustling. New York, New York. The city that never sleeps, the place that is big enough to get lost in.

It has been roughly a year since the incident in Detroit, since then I moved around faster never staying more than a week anywhere, always watching my back. I never heard or saw those vampires again and when I arrived in New York I knew I could run no longer, I just felt like I didn't have it in me anymore. I was so lonely by this point that I didn't even care anymore if they found me. I needed human contact.

I head towards the kitchen of the apartment I share with my roommate Sarah, I run the tap before filling a glass of wait and smile thinking about her. She is an aspiring actress (of course), hopelessly romantic (but currently single) and from a small wee town on the west coast. I think that's why we clicked so well, both small town girls with big dreams of finding themselves in this crazy city. She is a redhead, emotional and protective and I am very lucky to have found her. She is not of the few people that I have let myself have a connection to, she was just so open and so honest when I answered her ad in the paper about the apartment that I couldn't really say no when she offered me the room. I felt like I needed some of her positivity in my life and have not regretted the decision one bit.

Since being here in New York I have gradually gone back to brunette but a warmer chocolate brown, my hair is longer now with a blunt fringe. My fashion sense has changed too, you can't really help it living here, so many beautiful things I actually started to become interested in what I was wearing and what was out there. Pam would approve I am sure.

The familiar pang that follows a thought about my past grips my insides. It sneaks up on me sometimes - thoughts of them - I could be doing the most mundane task and all of a sudden I will remember something - the way Jason used to tug on my braids when we were kids, Gran's apple pie smell wafting around the house, gossiping about J.B, the way eric would rest his head over my heart after we made love… - and the pang will follow, sometimes it is so crippling I cur and other times I push it away and ignore it. It's the least I deserve really, for deserting them all with no real explanation.

Claude came to me not long after Detroit, I woke one night to a soft feathery touch on my cheek and when I opened my eyes his beautiful face was looking down on me. We didn't say anything, he just held my hand a little and brushed a kiss to my forehead. And then with a 'pop' he was gone and I was left to cry myself to sleep, it was comforting and painful at the same time to know that Claude of all people actually cared about me. But I guess I still had someone out there.

I finish another glass of water before heading back to bed to put a stop to these late night musings but when I curl up in my blankets and eventually drift off to sleep, I dream of Sookie Stackhouse and the life she lead and the people in it.


	5. Moving on is hard to do

"You know that is your third cup of coffee right?"

I grumble at Sarah and keep drinking it anyway, I am tired from my dreams last night and one..even two cups wasn't going to cut it this morning. Sarah smiles brightly at me ignoring my look and fishes a script out of her bag.

"So…I have an audition today. I think I might actually have a good chance of getting this one! I can feel it Liv." She beams at me.

This speech happens most days with Sarah, every audition she has she reacts the same way even though they tend to not actually go that way. But I smile and humor her anyway, not wanting to rain on her parade.

"I am so happy for you! Good luck today, knock em dead, break a leg etc etc." I laugh and she smiles back as she starts flipping through the script. I look at the clock and realize that I can't put it off any longer, I really do actually enjoy my job but I also enjoy sleeping and warm beds. I check myself once over in the mirror - today I have on black slim fitting pants, a navy and dark green floral sheer shirt, navy blazer and nude flats. My hair, immaculately brushed and straightened, lying loose on my shoulders and some light makeup. Happy enough with how I look, I say my goodbyes and last minute good lucks to Sarah as I walk out the door.

It is only a short 20 minute stroll to the bookstore where I work, it's independently run by a sweet couple, I pretty much get to do what I like and often have time to practice my telepathy in quiet spells. Today is Friday so the shop shall be relatively empty, I enjoy the walk in the mornings, of course the air has nothing on the fresh air of Bon Temps but it has its own uniqueness. I am almost tempted to stop and get a fourth coffee but Sarah's voice inside my head stops me and instead I grab a warm croissant. Damn her.

I see a familiar face through the window as I approach the store, I enter the shop and Paul the owner looks up.

"Hey Paul, didn't think I would be seeing you here."

"Olivia! I didn't think I would be here either. But it seems that Harriet has left the invoices from yesterday behind. Oh, also Nicholas will be working with you today - he needs the hours…Aha. Found them!"

I smile at him and stifle my giggle; Paul and Harriet are the sweetest couple but are forever losing or misplacing things and blaming each other. He rushes past me, giving me a quick squeeze on the shoulder before he leaves me alone to finish opening up the store. I go about my usual chores and finally at 10am the store is fit for opening and Nicholas walks in. He smiles shyly at me and I feel my face grow warm, he is pretty damn easy on the eye and I feel an ache deep in my belly. Tall, dark tousled hair, broad shoulders, muscled arms and green eyes that light up whenever he laughs…not that I have been staring or anything. Olivia's life does not include 'relationships' that last more than a night.

I greet Nicholas with a warm smile and go about unpacking the stock leftover from yesterday he places a coffee down in front of me and winks - oh yeah, his eyes light up when he does **that** too - probably knowing full well that I have already had a ridiculous amount this morning. I love him for this and almost pull him into a hug; I take a sip and happy sigh, slightly moaning closing my eyes momentarily. Who needs relationships when you have this? I open my eyes and notice Nicholas staring at me with a look that I am all too familiar with. I blush realizing I probably sounded like some kind of wanton harlot, he doesn't look away and I clear my throat trying to diffuse the awkwardness.

"Sooooo, what's new with you? I haven't seen you in a while."

He shrugs. "Nothing much, class is still great and I am still wishing I had done it all a helluva lot earlier." He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. Nicholas was 33 years old and after working a career in law for 10 years decided he didn't want to do that anymore so left his job, started taking night classes in painting and hasn't looked back since. I really admired him for that and found myself sort of looking up to him.

"Hey, what are you up to tonight?"

"Not sure, it all depends on how Sarah's audition goes today."

He looks at me pointedly.

"So, some ice cream and Sleeping in Seattle is on the cards?"

He laughs and I punch him lightly on the arm. He puts on a mock hurt look and pouts all the while his green eyes flashing and teasing me, I push away the sexy thoughts and focus on the tasks for the day as the first customer walks in. It is a woman who looks to be in her early 30's, tall, slender and dressed beautifully. Her hair is long and blonde, as she takes off her sunglasses - probably prada - her face beams as she notices Nicholas.

"Nicholas Rosemont, you rogue. I have not seen you in an age."

I try not to snort at this goddess like woman - who says rogue these days? - I turn to give Nicholas a smug look but he doesn't see me, his mouth hangs open as he stares at this woman. I feel a little pang and try not to gawk at what is going on.

"Rosie? Jesus christ, I didn't even recognize you at first. Get over here."

She walks over and he pulls her into a hug and there is something familiar there that I just can't place. I feel a little awkward for staring so pretend to be inputting the data from the invoices and ignore the nagging need to get Nicholas' attention and pout saying "what about me?". As if he could read my mind Nicholas turns around and introduces the goddess to me. Apparently the two went to college together and she was an old family friends daughter blah blah wasn't really listening, also apparently I was jealous. And after I had a wee dip into her mind she was actually really nice and was only thinking good things about him. And even me.

Ugh. What a bitch.

After leaving them to catch up, I busied myself putting out the new books and filling customer orders. I heard the bell dingle and looked up to see the Godde…Rosie leave the store, Nicholas walked over looking a little dumbfounded but pleased. I desperately wanted to dip into his head to see what he was thinking about after seeing her but he was my friend and I held back. Instead I shuffled from foot to foot impatiently waiting for him to talk to me.

"Wow. I can't believe that was Rosie. She looked amazing.." I inwardly rolled my eyes. Yeah, yeah.

"You guys were close?" Smooth Liv, real smooth.

"Yeah...we dated for a bit in college but we decided we were better friends. I have known her most of my life. Our families were close. She sort of dropped off the radar for a while there though, no one really knows what happened, there were rumors of drugs and falling in with the wrong crowd but she looks really amazing. She invited us out to drinks at her partner's bar. Would you be keen?"

I did a mini triumph dance inside when I heard the word partner and hoped it didn't show on my face. I tried to regain my composure.

"Yeah sure why not, oh and Sarah too right? She might be needing some cheering up later!" I laugh and he hesitates, his eyes flickering with something I can't place.

"Uhh…yeah sure. I-.." He trails off awkwardly and even I, Olivia Young who doesn't have relationships knew what was going on here. He wanted us to go as a date and I had just ruined it. Oops. I was definitely attracted to him and it had been a long time but a large part of me was still very wary of getting into something with someone. I had had a good run of no trouble but I had this nagging feeling that it wasn't going to last and I couldn't drag someone else into the trouble when it eventually found me, that just wasn't fair to them. We both kind of looked at each other, he opened his mouth to say something else but was interrupted by a customer clearing their throat. I almost turned and kissed the man standing there wanting to thank him for interrupting the moment, Nicholas however did not look as pleased and I pretended to not notice at all.

/

"Sarah? Are you home?"

As I walked into the apartment I could hear something that sounded suspiciously like Sleepless in Seattle playing on the television. Oh god. I walked further in and came across Sarah sitting on the living room couch with a large tub of ice cream in her lap. This was not good.

"Hey sweetie, wanna share some of that ice cream with me?"

She almost growled at me but softened when I rested my hand on her shoulder.

"OH LIV. I was wrong. **So** wrong. The audition went terribly. I am such a failure."

Her shoulders began to shake as she sobbed; I climbed onto the couch next to her and pulled her to me taking the ice cream away from her. I made soothing noises and tried to be as comforting as I could.

"Hey you know what, who needs that audition huh? You are better than that. Nicholas has invited us out tonight, let's go out and just forget about today."

She looked up at me and through her watery eyes I could see the confident Sarah coming back. I nodded at her enthusiastically, trying to pull her out of her mood.

"Yeah…I guess…but I feel and look awful."

I rolled my eyes at her.

"Nope. None of that talk. Turn off the TV, get off the couch and let's get ready to party."

She looked a little taken a back but complied and seemed to get a little excited. These crying periods never lasted long with her so I was glad that she was going to shake it off and come out and have a good night with us.

I went to go and have a shower and get ready for tonight. The plan was to go and have a bit of dinner first with Nicholas and then meet up with Rosie and her friends. I still felt a pang of jealousy towards her but brushed it off, Nicholas was single and could see whom ever he wanted. What did I care? Frowning, I scrubbed my body a little harder than needed and turned the shower to cold to snap myself out of it. After toweling off, I stood in front of my wardrobe and tried to decide on what to wear. I purposely did not own anything red or pale blue anymore, too many memories associated with those colours, after trying on a couple of different outfits I finally decided on a black long sleeved dress, it came up high in the front and pretty low in the back…without being tasteless of course. It hugged my curves perfectly and if I was being completely honest with myself a part of me was definitely trying to impress Nicholas. I added some small gold hoops and black wedged heels, finishing off the whole look with a dark grey blazer.

As I walked into the lounge Sarah wolf whistled.

"Trying to impress a certain someone are we?" She giggled and raised her eyebrow at me. I blushed and poked my tongue out at her.

"Not as much as **you** are." Giving a look to her super short dark green, skintight strapless dress. She rolled her eyes at me and started to gather her things.

I turned back to my room to get my backpack but something stopped me. I just couldn't bring myself to go and get it, this life was going great and I didn't need to carry around a bag full of money and ids. I just needed to go out with my two best friends and have a good night. Fuck watching my back every second of the day, it had been two and a half years.

"Liv, it's 6.30 let's go!"

I ignored the little voice that was trying to tell me that I should always be prepared and grabbed a small clutch instead, closing my bedroom door and pushing thoughts of worry from my mind.

Sarah looped her arm through mine as we walked down the hall. I smiled back at her, feeling genuinely happy for the first time in a long time.


	6. Just open your eyes

**Thank you to all for sticking with this story : ) Have been busy lately with Christmas and end of year uni stuff. Sookie is I guess a bit OOC in my story but this is a journey for her, she will find her way and be the feisty Sookie we are used to. Am not really giving too many hints away but all of this is leading to something and someone. Heh. Anyway, happy holidays everybody!**

**/ / /**

After a lot of laughs and maybe a little _too___much sake the three of us made out way to meet Rosie, as we squashed into the back of the cab my thigh brushed innocently against Nicholas' leg, I felt his eyes on me but I didn't dare look at him knowing full well that my resolve towards him was crumbling.

"Oh wow! This place looks pretty A-List!"

I nodded my head absently in Sarah's direction as the cab pulled up, it **did **look pretty swanky, I felt a little under dressed looking at the people going in and tugged at my dress nervously. Maybe I shouldn't have chosen something so short. Nicholas squeezed my hand and leaned towards me.

"You look beautiful Liv, don't worry."

His breath tickled my ear and I tensed a little as I tried to ignore the warm feeling spreading through me at his closeness. He smelled like comfort and warmth and it took all of the resistance I had to not just curl up in his arms, I smiled thankfully at him and hurried to get out of the cab. As I climbed out, Sarah ran around and linked her arm through mine, her excitement buzzing.

"Thank you **so** much for making me come out tonight Liv, let's get inside! Tonight is my lucky night, I am going to meet a tall, handsome stranger."

She giggled and I smiled, pulling her closer to me. Nicholas recited Rosie's name to the doorman and as he let us through I could feel my own excitement building, it was pretty hard not to, the place was pretty impressive and we were only just walking through the hallway. We came to heavy deep red velvet curtains and Nicholas pushed them back to reveal the most beautiful bar. To our left as we walked in were rounded booths with the same deep red velvet material, above the booths hung a black beaded like curtain around the top of them, giving privacy to the people in the booth. To the right was the bar and at the back I could see a dance floor, which was already full. The place had a really cool vibe about it.

Nicholas excused himself to go and find Rosie and Sarah and I went to the bar to get a drink.

"What can I get two beautiful ladies like you?"

I looked up at the bartender his eyes gliding appreciatively over me; I didn't have to do a mental scan to know that he was a vampire. I felt like a fool, I had been having such a good time tonight that I didn't even think of doing all of my checks like I normally would. Blame it on the sake. Thankfully his attention was drawn away from me as Sarah leaned a little further over the car than necessary ordering our drinks for us, giving him a pretty good view of her cleavage. I used this distraction to my advantage, turning away from the bar and lowering my shields. I counted second voids on my 'radar'. 7? Jesus Christ what was I doing here? I had avoided putting myself in these kinds of situations for a reason, it was why I had run away and I couldn't let them find out about me.

"Liv..? Hello? Ivan here wants to know where you are from."

Sarah nudged me and I looked over at the bartender. His eyes roamed hungrily over my body and the look in his eye meant bad news but before I could answer Nicholas was in front of us with Rosie and a man who I assumed to be her partner and who also - yay for me - was a vampire.

"Olivia, Sarah this is an old friend of mine, Rosie and her partner Johannes."

Johannes locked eyes with me and for a second I was lost in the sea of his beautiful grey eyes, he was tall and lean with shoulder length dark brown hair, he had a cold look about him and I could feel the power emanating from him.

I shuffled uncomfortably letting the conversation flow around me not wanting to draw too much attention to myself. I could feel Johannes looking over at me, he seemed interested and when it came to a vampire that was never, ever a good sign. I racked my brain trying to think of ways to end the night early and get myself out of there but Nicholas and Sarah seemed to be having such a good time (did Sarah just ask him if he had a reflection?) and I didn't trust leaving them there by themselves. I also got the feeling that Johannes would not appreciate me leaving so suddenly.

I dipped into Rosie's mind briefly, she was thinking generally normal, mundane things, picking through a few memories in her mind I found that Johannes wasn't her 'partner' but rather she was his pet. Watching Rosie I noticed the way she hung off his every word, she watched him closely as if anticipating what she should do next as if afraid to do the wrong thing and fall out of favor.

Knowing that she was his pet unnerved me even more, it reminded me of Hadley and it reminded me of a conversation I had with someone a long time ago _/he can even have a human pet, but he can't have a wife/_, I didn't want to think of these things right now, I didn't want the familiar sick feeling in my stomach.

Johannes politely excused himself, explaining that he had phone calls to make. I realized then that I had barely said a word to him, or any of them really. His eyes seemed to linger on me for what I thought was longer than necessary and when he told us he hoped to see us again soon it felt like he was only talking to me, perhaps taking the silent approach wasn't the way to take the focus off of me. He was attractive but deadly and I didn't want to find out anymore about him.

Nicholas came beside me and nudged me with his arm.

"Hey are you okay? You have been awfully quiet all of a sudden."

"Sorry, it's just..I once knew a bar owner who was a vampire…Johannes reminded me of him.."

I don't know why I said it but I did, Nicholas looked at me surprised. When I thought about it this was probably the only personal information I had ever really given him about my past, real or not.

"What happened to him?"

I shrugged my shoulders; sipping my drink and acting like his question had no affect on me even though it felt like my insides were burning.

"We...lost touch."

I could tell he wanted to pry more but he didn't say anything else, instead he shifted closer to me so we were touching.

"Liv..there are things I have really wanted to talk to you about. I know this isn't exactly the best time but-"

I downed the rest of my drink and turned towards him.

"Let's dance."

His mouth opened as if to say something but he closed it and let me take his hand, I couldn't deal with what he wanted to talk about right now. We left Sarah and Rosie talking and headed to the dance floor, the sake and the drinks I had were taking their toll on me and I wobbled a little bit on my feet. Nicholas' arm came around my waist and I looked up at him, his gaze caused my heart to flutter and I wanted it all - his warmth, his love, his comfort. His feelings were pure and true, he didn't want to use me, he didn't want to own me, he just wanted to love me. I looked away and felt my throat tighten. He tightened his hold around my waist and we continued on to the dance floor.

A slower song was playing, I wrapped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his around my lower back. I rested my head on his chest and we danced, we didn't say anything else just slowly moved to the music together. I listened to his heartbeat in his chest, concentrating on the sound like it was the only thing that mattered in the whole world.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The song changed and we pulled away from each other, he had a strange look of elation and confusion on his face and I didn't need to take a dip in his head to guess what he was thinking because I was pretty sure that I was feeling it all too. Thankfully before we had to spoil the moment and make it even more confusing by speaking, Sarah and Rosie bounded up with more drinks and a shot of some kind and the intense moment we had just shared was momentarily forgotten in favor of our drinks.

I was relieved.

After downing our shots Sarah grabbed my hand and twirled me around she was a big fan of this song, her energy and enthusiasm swept me up and soon we were dancing together. I am still a pretty damn good dancer and I know that not just Nicholas was appreciating the show, perhaps a stupid thing to do in a bar with a few vampires but I couldn't have cared less in this moment. I was back to feeling happy and carefree just like I should be. I felt someone move in behind me, I knew it was Nicholas and with a little 'help' I knew he wanted me more now than ever. He was imagining us going home tonight together. He was imagining kissing me. He was imagining me naked. He was-you get the idea.

Lust that I have been trying to push away for weeks stirred deep inside my belly and maybe, just maybe I stuck my butt out a little more than I had to and some could say that I swayed my hips just a littler harder than I needed to. Sarah pulled me away again, whispering in my ear.

"Oh, you two lovebirds! Finally!"

She spun me back to Nicholas and signaled that she was going to the bathroom; I nodded and looked around for Rosie, spotting her heading towards a door at the back of the club. The bar was crowded and Nicholas and I were pushed closer together by the emergence of people on the dance floor. My hair lay heavy and damp against the back of my neck, I pushed it away a little, his eyes dark with desire following me the whole time. He touched my cheek and as if I didn't know it was going to happen his lips were on mine, his kiss was sweet and when I didn't pull away it deepened, scaring me. It was too much I had to pull away; he looked down at me confused.

"I should go and find Sarah."

It was a weak excuse and he knew it but he nodded back at me, letting go of my hand. I try to smile at him but he doesn't notice. I want to say sorry for being such a confusing bitch but instead I watch as he heads towards the bar. Weaving my way through the crowd towards the bathroom, I shook my head in frustration how could I be so stupid? I shouldn't get involved..but he is so sweet..I sigh, shaking my head again.

As I enter it is of course just as luxurious as the rest of the bar and I take a few seconds to admire the first room, which has beautiful ornate mirrors and a chaise lounge - that after testing out is pretty comfortable. I hear a muffled moan come from the other room; I walk quietly around the corner and stop dead in my tracks as I come face to face with Johannes sucking on Sarah's neck whilst his hand moves up her dress. I couldn't move and I felt my mouth drop open.

"Liv…."

I snap out of it and Johannes turns quickly, his eyes searing into mine. I look away and keep my eyes down, don't need him to know Sarah's best friend is a telepathic fairy who can't be glamored, might save that for another time.

"Shit..sorry guys, didn't mean to interrupt. Just wondering where you had wandered off to Sarah, now that I know I shall be on my merry way." My voice sounded shaky and I giggled breathily, smoothing down invisible creases in my dress. God this was awkward. I flicked my eyes up to Sarah's and she looked just as embarrassed, I began to turn around but Johannes suddenly blocked my way. He grabbed my chin lightly and turned my face up towards his. His face said nothing but his eyes burned into me with an intensity that sent shivers down my spine.

"Don't be sorry Olivia, you can always stay."

Oh god. I flicked my eyes away from his again.

"Umm…I better go, I was dancing with Nicholas…" I mumble awkwardly.

"Such a shame..." His voice is like silk, I resist the urge to pull away as his finger traces my jawline. I focus on a point on his chest and let out a small breath of relief when he eventually moves and lets me leave. I walk out quickly and make my way to the bar; I down another shot of something and try to calm down. I mean yeah okay, I have done that before myself but seeing it all again. It really threw me. And Sarah? What the hell was she thinking? Where was Rosie? I did not need this.

I watched as Sarah slipped out of the bathroom sheepishly, still pulling down her dress. Her hair was tousled and it didn't take a genius to figure out what had gone on. As she came closer to me I noticed that thankfully Johannes was a considerate vampire and there was no evidence of his bite on her neck. If I was honest with myself I was being a big ass hypocrite, I was pissed off at her and I wanted to slap her for going off with Johannes like that. He was a big time creep and who knows what could have happened…but didn't I do all of this as well? Didn't I run off with vampires and ignore what everyone said to me, even when people I loved had to die, even when I got hurt and even when murders were planned. Yup. Hypocrite number one right over here. I think I am starting to understand why Sam would always give me that look when I had excuse after excuse for my crazy life.

Johannes exits the bathroom not long after Sarah, calm and collected as expected. A woman - a vampire - approaches him and talks in his ear, his face turns dark and he walks away quickly. She turns to follow him and when I see her face there is something about her that is very familiar. But I cannot figure out where I have seen her before, maybe years ago at Fangtasia? There was something about her though, something kind of off. I put that thought to the side for the moment as I watched Sarah talking with Nicholas.

A little bit of guilt and shame starts to weigh on my shoulders from my thoughts before and I can't look Sarah in the eye when she makes her way over to me.

"Look, Liv I know it's probably real awkward what hap-"

"Hey, don't worry about it. I just was…surprised that's all."

We both laugh a little and she smiles at me.

"I didn't plan to, he just came over and told me he was watching me on the dance floor and he liked what he saw. I had such a crappy day and he was just so nice, ya know. And hey you gotta admit he is pretty gorgeous."

Yeah a gorgeous, deadly vampire.

"Just be careful okay Sarah? I don't want you getting hurt, I mean what about Rosie?"

She shrugs, looking momentarily embarrassed "He said they weren't exclusive."

I raise my eyebrow questioningly at her but she turns away.

"Anyway, after that I am ready to call it a night. Let's go home..unless of course you are going to Nicholas'?"

Sarah waggles her eyebrows at me suggestively and I playfully hit her on the arm.

"Shut. Up. Nicholas is going to his own home **alone** thank you very much."

"Yeah…yeah.."

As we walked through the crowd toward Nicholas I couldn't get the face of that woman talking to Johannes out of my head. Why was she so familiar? I felt like I knew her somehow, as I tried to figure it out a slight breeze wafted over me causing me to shiver. Don't think I will be coming back to this bar anytime soon.

We got to the heavy curtain and I paused, it felt like someone was watching me. I turned around quickly but there was no one, only empty space.

"Liv, you coming?"

I looked around one more time and went through the curtain myself, trying to shake the creepy feelings.

Yep, never coming back here.

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

A song I didn't recognize plays faintly in the background as Eric and I sway slowly, my head resting against his chest. There is silence, there, in his chest but it doesn't bother me, I feel comforted by it.

We are outside, under the stars, the crickets are chirping quietly and there is a warm breeze.

He tugs my hand slightly and I look up at him, his blue eyes capture me instantly and even though he can't glamour me I would do anything that he asked of me in this moment.

He smiles - his genuine smile, the one only I get to see - and pulls my hand again, leading me towards the picnic blanket on the ground.

We lay down together, hands entwined, my head on his chest, his chin resting on my head.

I have never felt so safe in my life, in his arms, in his love.

"Tell me something."

My voice is quiet, I don't want to disturb the peace too much.

"And what would you like me to tell you little rabbit?"

His chest rumbles with his words, I feel an ache between my legs at the sound of it.

"Something no one else knows."

His fingers dance along my spine as he takes an unnecessary breath.

"Something is coming, you will have to prepare yourself."

I sit up and look down at him.

"That's not what I wanted to hear."

He laughs and I pout at him. I lie back down again, huffing.

"Well, what am I preparing myself for? You can't just say something like that and not explain yourself."

"You have just to open your eyes Sookie."

He pulls me so I am lying on top of him; his mouth is on mine in an instant. But my mind is trying to remember something. I push him away.

"Wait..what? What did you say again?"

He tries to kiss me again but I dodge his lips. He grips my arms and leans up to whisper in my ear.

"Just open your eyes."

He captures my mouth with his lips again, grinding his pelvis into mine and soon clothes are coming off and hands are everywhere.

As he enters me the chirping of the crickets has turned into a screech and the sound of them fills my ears.

I am supposed to remember something but in this moment all is forgotten.

All that remains is love.

Just love.

Time passes.

And as I come instead of the crickets it is my scream that fills my ears.


	7. In case I never see you again

**Thank you again for the feedback, sorry it has been so long in between chapters but I hope that this two parter will make up for it. Also the last part of the last chapter was a dream which I didn't really clarify too well, sorry about that, it definitely has a meaning which will become clearer soon. It's all starting to come to a head now, hope you enjoy it :)**

* * *

><p>After last night today was a day of avoiding. I sat curled up on the couch watching movies and trying not to thing of anything else, I ignored Nicholas' calls and I stayed in my room till I heard Sarah leave. I felt like a first rate fool, today was all about ignoring what happened, with Nicholas, Sarah…Johannes. God. Who did I think I was? Swanning around town like I wasn't on the run from my former life. And fooling with Nicholas like that?<p>

I let out a sigh and sunk further into the couch. Right now I wanted to be left alone.

_Knock. Knock._

I cursed under my breath and considered pretending that I wasn't home but the knocking persisted.

"Rosie?"

The last person I expected to see at my door. She looked nervous, glancing around and fidgeting with the cuff of her sleeve.

"H-hey Olivia. Nicholas tried to ring ahead for me but you didn't answer your phone, I thought I would just chance it and see if you were home."

"Yeah, sorry about that. Just having a bit of a quiet day today."

She turned her warm brown eyes to me, she looked agitated and I was so goddamn tempted to just shut the door in her face and get back to watching My Girl but the old, bleeding heart part of me made my body turn away and made my mouth open and say "come on in." She looked instantly relieved, I moved aside to let her in and inwardly slapped myself in the face. Why did I always have to be so goddamn polite.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Water would be great. Thanks."

I watched her as she walked around to the dining table, her heels clicking lightly on the floor. Of course to add to my already foul mood she was impeccably dressed in clothing that I had been envying in expensive storefronts recently, I, on the other hand was sporting grey sweats and a baggy t-shirt. I sighed, again regretting my decision to let her in. I shuffled over to her, her hand slightly trembling as she took the glass from my hand. As I sat across from her, I really didn't know what to say, in all honesty I probably only talked to her for about five minutes last night. I shifted in my chair, fiddling with a coaster on the table.

"You're probably wondering why I'm here." Bingo. She chuckled lightly and I nodded, eyeing her warily. Again her hand trembled as she raised the glass to her lips, I took this opportunity to peek into her mind quickly. I saw flashes of Rosie and Johannes arguing, she was angry about something. She was crying. He didn't look like he cared. Then it flashed to him standing over her, his arms gripping her arms and his fangs bared. I realized she was beginning to talk and dipped out of her head, I didn't know what was coming but I had a feeling I wasn't going to like it.

"Last night…" She stopped suddenly turning her head towards the door sharply; I listened out for whatever she was hearing but to no avail.

"What's going on Rosie?"

I was done with this bullshit. She turned back and looked sheepishly at me.

"Sorry…I-I thought I heard something. I am so jittery these days."

I nodded trying to will her to talk with my mind, I was right at the scene before Thomas J and the bees meet in My Girl and right now I would rather be paying attention to that.

"I know Sarah and Johannes were…intimate last night."

"Yes."

There was not point in lying, especially when I didn't know where this was going.

"He can be a hard man, Johannes, but he has a gentle side that only I get to see. That's what drew me to him at first, I was…lost, I guess you could say. I had dabbled in things a little too much, fallen in with some dangerous characters, by this stage my parents no longer wanted anything to do with me. But Johannes did. He saved me and I owe him. Yes, there are other women and he is rough…but I love him and in his way I know he loves me. I can never leave him."

A lump began to form in my throat and I tried to swallow.

"The reason I am telling you all of this is that when he wants something, as like any vampire I suppose, he will not stop until it is his."

A thick coil of dread began to snake its way into my belly. Oh yes, I _certainly _did not like where this was going. I looked quickly over at my room, the door slightly ajar - my backpack was there. I could change and leave within half an hour, I just needed to get her out of here.

"You see Olivia, he was rather taken with your friend Sarah last night. So much so that he has ordered me to befriend you and her, get you all used to the idea of hanging around vampires so that Sarah will feel more at ease when he claims her. It is obvious that she wants him, he believes it will not be hard to convince her."

Relief. Sweet, sweet relief washed over me and then guilt at the fact that I was so relieved that it wasn't me.

"What?"

"Claim her. I realize that I had you all under the pretense that Johannes and I were partners, equals. It doesn't quite work like that in the vampire world; I am what they call a pet. I am lucky that I am and have been his only, some have multiple pets. He would like Sarah to join us."

Of course I knew what a pet was but I didn't want to lead her on to how much I actually knew about the vampire world, I could tell from the look on her face that she was not so happy with this 'new edition' that Johannes wanted to make to their 'family'.

"What do you…do as a pet?"

She shifted uncomfortably.

"I am there to 'service' Johannes when he needs it, either blood or sex. Sometimes he takes me out to plays and dines me but mostly I stick to his home and grounds until he needs me for something. I often have to accompany him to the bar and sometimes I have to…spend time with business associates of his."

Well, we all knew what _that _meant. I didn't want to know anymore, she still had a point to make and I wanted to know what it is.

"Does he know you are coming here today?"

"Of course not. I am going to be frank with you now Olivia, being a vampire's pet is not easy. Johannes is strong and likes power he likes violence and dominance. I have been with him for nearly ten years and even now I still slip up and anger him, he will be rough with me, he will punish me but then he is always gentle. As I said before, he cares in his own way. I can see that you care a lot for your friend, he wants her but he will control and dominate her until you won't even recognize her."

She reached out and touched my hand, her long sleeved top she was wearing inched upwards her arm and I noticed makeup covered bruising and welts. I let down my shields and a powerful image of Johannes holding her arm as he beat her with a belt flashed in my mind and I let go of her hand instantly.

"I am sorry to burden you like this but I don't wish this life on anybody else. I felt I needed to let you know, I couldn't talk to Sarah directly or she would tell Johannes and that would not…end well."

I shuddered thinking about what I knew about vampires and what they were capable of. We sat in silence for a few minutes; I let it all sink in. As soon as Rosie started talking deep down I knew that I would help Sarah, I couldn't let her become a part of his sick little family. She was my friend and was so good hearted, that I couldn't bear for someone to take that away from her. Rosie was right, no one deserved that, she needed to know the truth first. I came out of my thoughts as I noticed Rosie get up and move towards the window.

"The sun is setting."

I didn't say anything.

"You will have to go Olivia."

"What?"

"She is already at the bar."

"What? How do you know this? It's only just 7pm?"

Rosie turned towards me and I saw a sadness on her face, it was hard knowing that I couldn't save her and that she didn't even really want to _be_ saved. This was her fate and she was resigned to it.

"They organized it last night, she was to go to the bar at opening time and he would meet her there again later."

I almost wanted to yell at her, wondering why she just hadn't said all of this in the first goddamn place but instead I jumped up and raced to my room, changing quickly. I threw on the first thing I could find, not bothering with makeup and doing anything to my hair. I grabbed my purse and headed out to the kitchen again, stopping when I realized Rosie had left. The whole thing left a sour taste in my mouth, I wasn't really sure what I was actually going to do but I knew I had to do _something, _anything to try and get her to see some sense. This wasn't fun and games; this wasn't something that she could just walk out of when she got sick of it.


	8. In case I never see you again  Part 2

I tried my luck with the bouncer and recited Rosie's name, it worked and I was let in in front of the line that was already building. I walked through quicker than the last time, ignoring all of the flashy details and focusing on finding Sarah. Thankfully it was still relatively quiet so there weren't that many people inside yet, I walked around quickly scanning the booths and bar not seeing her anywhere. I tried the bathroom again but with no luck, by this stage it was 7.45pm, I didn't know how long she had been here and if Johannes was already here.

As I approached the bar I noticed that 'Ivan' was working again, he was staring at me hungrily. God I hated this place. I walked over, he smiled trying to conceal his fangs, and I wanted to slap him in the face for being such a pervert. Choose your battles Olivia; remember what you are here for. I closed my eyes, counted to ten and opened them again placing a strained smile on my face.

"Hey Ivan, have you seen my friend tonight? The redhead?"

"Ah, the one with the breasts?"

Seriously? Jackass. I raised my eyebrow at him; he chuckled crossing his arms over his chest.

"So fiery tonight. I like it."

I opened my mouth to give the big dumb jerk a piece of my mind when he chuckled again.

"Calm down little one, she is here. She is with Johannes. I don't know how long they will be."

He leered at me and I turned around and walked away before I would cause a scene. Asshole. I took a seat at one of the booths feeling numb, I wanted to know where they were but really, what did I think I was going to do? Waltz in there and demand he leave my friend alone? I had to admit I was out of my league, I didn't have Sam or Eric or anyone to help me out if it went bad…what I needed to do was calm down and think about how I could approach this with her when she _did _eventually surface. Sarah was a romantic at heart and she was _always _looking for that guy to come and charm her and sweep her off her feet, she seemed taken with him last night but surely she couldn't already be under his spell. For all I knew he had already glamoured the hell out of her and she was his willing slave. Great.

As time ticked by the place started to get busier and I found it harder to look for her, I got up and started to make my way over to the bar. I didn't know too much about my new talent - considering I didn't exactly have anyone guiding me - but without knowing where she actually was I didn't think I could find her and I needed my energy

"Liv!"

I turned at her voice; she was thankfully in one piece walking towards me. She looked happy and by happy I mean over the moon. Oh boy.

"I am so glad you are here! I have news. Let's sit."

She grabbed my hand eagerly and dragged me to the booth I had just occupied. I went into her mind instantly and came across images of her and Johannes having sex…okay skipping past those scenes - and there were a _few_ - I stopped and tried to focus on another memory but she pushed my shoulder and I was out of her mind and staring at her slightly annoyed face.

"Were you listening to anything I was saying? God. What is with you?"

I bristled at her words and wanted to say the same back to her.

"I had a bad day."

She looked a little embarrassed but not for long.

"Well, sorry to hear that."

She flicked her hair and began to look around the bar, I sighed. It was clear that this was not going to work out how I was hoping.

"Come on, tell me your news. I know you wanna."

That changed her tune instantly, the smile was back on her face and she leaned forward.

"Johannes and I had a rendezvous again. He is amazing Liv, so charming and lovely. And the sex! Oh my. And god, his voice…just his voice does things to me that I didn't even know it could. We really connected."

She was babbling like an idiot and unfortunately I was losing my patience.

"Don't you think that maybe it's a bit much? I mean, you barely know him."

Her face turned icy as soon as the words were out of my mouth and I regretted it instantly. For someone who had years of practice reading peoples body language I sure was doing a shitty job.

"You're judging me over _this_? _You_ of all people Liv. Really?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

And there goes the temper. I wanted to shake her and tell her that he isn't Prince Charming, far from it. There will be no white horse, castle…she wouldn't even be the person that was sitting in front of me right now. I wanted her to understand that but the conversation was getting out of hand fast and I didn't seem to realize it was time to put the brakes on it.

"How many times have we gone out and you have gone home with someone you don't know? And do I ever say anything about it even if I don't agree?"

I felt my face burn.

"That's different."

"Oh really. And how is that?"

Her tone was ticking me off and I couldn't keep a hold on my temper.

"Well for one, none of them were dangerous vampires and two, I wasn't mooning over them like I was still in high school."

As soon as the words left my mouth I wanted to take them right back, this wasn't the time.

"I don't owe you anything Olivia and I don't want to talk to you right now."

I tried to reach for her but she moved out of my grasp quickly and stormed away. I leaned back against the booth seat and let out a sigh. Fuck. So much for being the knight in shining armor and saving my friend. Her words still stung, I wanted to refuse to feel guilty about the people I had slept with but the way she _had _clearly been judging me that whole time made me feel ashamed. She made it pretty clear that she wasn't going to listen to me, she had made up her mind about Johannes but she was still my best friend and I had to try one more time. She deserved the truth.

Climbing out of the booth I stood on my tiptoes and scanned the crowd, she was on the far side of the bar talking animatedly to someone. A man. His back was too me, all I could see was that he was tall and had blonde hair slicked back wearing what looked like a pretty sharp suit. As I got closer I looked at Sarah's face and she looked pretty much in love with this new guy already, uh-oh Johannes isn't going to like that. I cast out my shields and find a void in his place. Double uh-oh. He _definitely_ wasn't going to like _that. _

I continue forward to her, a whisper of a breeze ghosting over my skin causing me to shiver. I feel a pull inside of me, drawing me towards them.

She sees me as I near and scowls, I roll my eyes and step forward knocking slightly into the vampire next to her, my skin burns and I pull my arm away quickly rubbing it gingerly. I ignore him and focus on her; she crosses her arms over her chest defensively.

"Speak of the _devil, _here she is. Liv, this is Eric."

My blood runs cold instantly.

No.

My Gran used to tell me I was a smart girl, she would kiss me on my nose and tell me to ignore all those boys that called me 'stupid' because she knew better. I liked to believe her but right now it seemed like my Gran was telling lies because Eric Northman was looking down at me, his beautiful face - that I wanted to slap and scratch and scream at - impassive as always bar that small muscle - the one I knew intimately as I was often the cause of it - in his jaw clenched tightly that was telling me otherwise. How could I have been so stupid to not listen to the dreams, my body, the feelings of being in this place. His face blurs as tears sting my eyes and I look away back to Sarah, she looks confused but doesn't say anything.

It's him.

Right here.

My knees feel weak.

The bass pounds in my ears. I can't meet his eyes again. I don't want to see the look he is giving me.

I feel like the biggest idiot in the world. Did I really think that I had made it? That I was free? Black dots dance in front of my eyes and I realize I had been holding my breath this whole time, I let it out in one big whoosh and the dots begin to fade but my shields slip, I scramble to regain my composure but I am bombarded with the thoughts of everyone in the club.

sex. sad. mad. anger. hurt. does he love me. I hate myself. what should I do tomorrow. god I need another drink. sad. happy.

I clutch my head desperately and try to calm down but I can't. It's him, he's here. Is he going to kill me? Will I have to go back? What about Sarah? Nicholas? What have I done? Tears pour down my face as I feel my head about to explode and then all of a sudden it's all gone. I look at my shoulder and see the cold hand pressed there, the silence his touch allows me to calm down and Sarah rushes to my side.

"Jesus, are you okay?"

I nod a little and manage to croak out migraine. As I build up my shields again, I shrug off his hand and refuse to meet his eyes again, he stays silent not saying anything but I feel his eyes boring into the top of my head.

"Sorry…about before, I'm just in a crabby mood. And now this migraine. I'm going to call it a night." I try to smile but it comes out as more of a grimace, Sarah rubs my arm soothingly.

"Olivia, what ails you?"

Oh great. I look up at Johannes, he has a concerned look on his face that I just know is total bullshit. I shrug and look at his arm that is tightly around Sarah's shoulders; it is obvious that she won't be coming home with me tonight. She moves towards me again but he holds her back in place, she looks back at him sharply but he ignores her. It has begun I guess, I don't want to leave her but I can't be here.

"Migraine. Look, I'm going now. Talk later Sarah."

I turn away but Eric's hand suddenly grips my arm, hard, I look up at him and there is an intensity in his eyes that I had not seen in a long time and I was _certainly_ not prepared to see it now.

"It was nice to meet you Olivia. You get home safe now."

His voice - oh god his voice, I had forgotten the sound - is clipped and full of promise that I would be seeing him again soon, I nod and turn away, tears burning my eyes. My life I so perfectly created is crumbling around me, all in one night. I need air and I need to think. I leave them both, feeling his eyes follow me but never turning back around.

My skin crawls. I stumble through the crowd into someone's arms. I tense and then relax.

Nicholas.

Thank you.

I don't even know why he is here but I let him take my hand and lead me out of the club, tears still burning my eyes and memories suffocating my heart.

He is here. He has found me. It is all over.

In the cab on the way to Nicholas' house I lean on his shoulder, he is warm and he is comforting. I want to love him. I really do but I know I don't and never will and now that a big stupid Viking was back in my life it definitely wouldn't happen. He asks me how the night was, I don't reply so he puts his arm around me pulling me close. I lean into his embrace and close my eyes trying to ignore the pain inside, eventually I nod off to sleep.

Nicholas wakes me, I am confused to be at his apartment but don't really care too much. I am tired from the voices and from Eric and from feelings that I had long since buried. Just seeing him again has stirred so many things inside of me that I don't know what to think or what to do anymore. We make our way inside and I fall into his bed, he sits on the edge next to me and strokes my hair back from my face.

"Liv-"

"Please don't."

He sighs quietly.

"You'll tell me when you're ready, right?"

I nod and close my eyes firmly, wanting sleep to envelop me. I hear him move around the apartment and then eventually he gets into the bed, he takes me into his arms and I don't argue. I lean my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat wishing I could hide inside of his love for me forever.

* * *

><p><strong>Dun dun dun. Hehe I hope you all enjoyed this part, I felt that it was time to include Eric in the story and I knew that it just needed to happen. No real lead up, he would just be…there. I am contemplating doing an Eric POV next but will see how it goes. Feedback would be great, I will try to reply to any questions in PMs. <strong>


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